Winter's Love
by Just-Soldier-On
Summary: The love seemed to be in the air; the fireflies brightened the darkness that seemed to consume her. Her beautiful brown eyes twinkled under the moons gaze. Gently she said the words she has been meaning to say for quiet some time "I love you, Quil"
1. Love

Time somehow seemed to be moving slowly as I saw him walk into the room, a smile on his face as he hugged a proud looking Embry. "Congratulations man" Quil smiled slapping Embry on the back. I was seated in a chair, a glass of juice in a crystal glass. The lights ahead made the glass sparkle, a twinkle. Leah sat beside me looking like a goddess, a love sick Cody next to her. Cody; the newest member of the pack imprinted on Leah; the apparent pack's bitch. I never saw that in her though. I always saw the good side of her, the side nobody else really saw. She was a girl whose heart was broken from love; she never truly got over that and is still on the lookout for that to happen again. The way he watched Leah, the way he looked at her was gut wrenching. He looked at her with the eyes of first love, like his life couldn't get any better than it is now. Every day I wished for what Leah had somebody who loved her. My crush; my love was put all into one person. His name is Quil Ateara. His been my best friend for as long as I can remember, he has always helped through everything. Even things I never wanted him to help me with for instance; that girly thing that happens every month.

"What's wrong Claire?" Leah asked a hand on my shoulder as she stared at me with soft eyes, a sympathetic glance my way. She seemed to understand what I was going through. "Nothing, I think I am going outside to get some fresh air. Tell Embry and Anna I will be back soon" Embry imprinted on Anna or Annabelle 7 years ago, they never really got around to the wedding with all the wolf pack stuff going on. "Yeah sure" Leah smiled faintly. "If you need to talk you know where to find me" Smiling at her I nodded. I did know where to find her, whenever I needed those little heart to heart talks she was always there for me. As I got up my dress swished and twirled as I made my way through the dancing bodies enjoying the night of love that was mixed into the air of this ceremony. Love; that was the theme of this night; it's what they expressed when making their beautiful baby Jesse. Jesse was such a wonderful little boy, so bright for his age. He said the best man's speech at Jared and Kim's wedding last year. Everybody loved him so much.

My footsteps were light as I swept throughout the room, my steps timed slowly as my beautiful dress swayed behind me. As I pushed the door the open the chilly winter air hit the bare skin of my neck; it sent a chill up my back, making me shake. The life outside these doors where amazing, the terrace overlooked a gazebo; dragonflies sprinkling over the dark night sky. The fireflies illuminated the ambience around me. The music from inside flowed on out here, adding to the memory I would forever keep in the depths of my mind. Wild Flowers sprung with life; a pond glistened under the moons gaze. Little frogs leaped, springing onto their lily pads as their loud croaks echoed to my spot on the terrace. "Hey Claire" Said a voice from behind me; a husky voice. Turning around I faced him, a small smile on my face as I looked at him. "Hey Quil" I said, looking out into the view around us. The stars were twinkling down on us, the small silver lights shining up in the sky. "You look really beautiful tonight. Then again, you always do" I felt like running my hands through his light brown locks, to feel his beautiful lips against mine; I want to tell him that I love him and have since I was only 13. "You really think so?" I asked disbelief in my voice as I stared up at the beautiful creature in front of me, my gaze cast upon him. Not once have I been called beautiful by anyone. Throughout my teenage years I only allowed myself to focus on my studying; my school work.

Nodding he held my hand. "I don't think so Claire, I know so." And with those words I smiled; the both of us looking at the picturesque view around us. All I wanted to do was throw my arms around him, to kiss him with so much passion he will have absolutely no idea what hit him. But I was afraid that he wouldn't feel the exact same. That he'd look at me like I was some crazy girl he wish he'd never known. But what was life if you didn't take chances; if you didn't take that one step that could lead you to the best pat? Life is almost like a book, you need to turn the pages to get the best results. You needed to try and get past the complication to get the happy ending you deserve. What if this was my happy ending? Would you take the chance?

"Quil" I murmured, hesitance in my voice as I looked up at him, my brown eyes penetrating his. Looking down at me he smiled that big beautiful smile that got my heart racing rapidly, the way his chocolate brown eye's smouldered. "Yes my beautiful Claire?" He asked, his eye's seeping into mine. And right then, that moment I knew I needed to say the words I've wanted to say. The words I seemingly needed to say. "Quil, I love you. I have for awhile. Whenever I am near you I feel my heart soaring. And I need you." That's when his smile faded as he stared at me, his mouth wide open. That twinkle in his eye was gone; I could feel the tears coming on rapidly as I pursed my lips. I blinked as the tear streamed down to my cheek. And like that I grabbed a part of my dress holding it up above the ground as I left him at the terrace, starring at the place I stood.


	2. The lingering feel

All about Fray The: .com/music/Fray+The My world seemed to be spinning as I walked through the crowded room, trying to move past the dancing guests. I couldn't handle it; the one person that I've loved was.. Rejecting me, and I never was good at rejection. It made my head spin, my heart crumble and my heart move all the way to the floor. "Clare?" Said Emily grabbing my hands in hers. "Honey what's wrong?" My eyes were watering as I looked down at the floor, shaking my head at her; I didn't want to talk, I didn't want to think or see. All I wanted was to curl up into a little ball and lay on my bed with my care bear in a tight embrace. I wanted to dig a hole and stay there until I died. These emotions might be dramatic, but its what I felt deep down inside. I didn't want to feel them.  
"Nothing" I whispered to Aunt Emily, my eyes refusing to look into hers for I knew I would burst into tears. "I just want to go home, tell Embry I said congratulations. And I wish I could stay" I said in a voice filled with sorrow. "And I hope he has a good night" She sighed nodding slightly as she rubbed my shoulder gently.  
"If you can't stay... Just be safe driving back home, okay?" She asked, her gaze was sympathetic like she knew just what was going on between me and Quil, though through great doubt I knew she wouldn't know what was going on. "Okay" I whispered nodding as I shifted past her sweeping down the stairs, trying to get as far away from here as I could manage, it's not like I could get away from this forever, but for now this would just have to do.

It was 30 minutes into the car ride when I had decided that music would be one thing to calm me down, my hand reached out in front me flicking the device on, allowing the music to waft through the tense environment of the car.

'Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life'

As I heard the lyrics to this song I had to stop the car, I could feel myself breaking with every second that past by. This was the very song me and Quil listened to after I found out my mother died, he had held me in his arms, comforting me the whole time. He told me that day 'I hate seeing you cry Clare Bear' and that night I wasn't even angry at him calling me 'Clare Bear' Like I usually was, it was a comfort for me somehow. All I wanted was to stay in his arms through every hour of that day. I wouldn't see anyone, I wouldn't talk to anyone... All except Quil, he was the one person I would open up too. He was the one person I trusted the most.

Let him know that you know best,Cause after all you do know best,Try to slip past his defence,  
Without granting innocence'

My hand inched toward the button to switch it off when I sighed, letting the tears follow freely. It's what I needed, I needed to be able to cry, to let all of the tears out. Before my mum cried she told me to always let the tears out, there was nothing shameful about crying; everyone needs to be able to cry to let their emotions out instead of leaving it bottled up. In times like these (the times I cried) Quil would always be there holding me in his arms, allowing me to soak him if that's what I needed. He never told me to get over it, or to build a bridge and get over it, no he allowed me to cry into his arms. And right now I missed that, I missed him holding me.

I felt like pressing my lips to his, to feel his hair weaved in my hands carelessly. I craved the warmth, I craved the feeling of his presence. I needed his eyes looking into mine, I needed the warmth; I just needed him. I wanted him to be with me. But now, I realise that could never happen. He didn't love me like that, he didn't want me like that. I was just Clare Young, unwanted, ugly, too-smart, Clare Young. The girl that nobody likes, the girl everyone loves to chuck things at. I was just plain and simply me. And I would just have to accept that whether I liked it or not. Words once said went through my head like a disease waiting to spread.

_"You're ugly"  
"You're unwanted"  
"You're a nerd"  
"Who could ever love you?"  
"What are you waiting for, no one wants you!"  
"We hate you"_

I couldn't help but cry, letting the side of my face press against the cold windowpane. I looked down at my bare arms, seeing the silvering deep scars that laced my arms. I had done them not too long ago, all because of the pain I was facing. Who was there, who noticed them when nobody else did? It was Quil. Who was always there when Emily or Sam couldn't be? Quil. It was always Quil. And I needed him more than I knew. I seemed to always take him for granted. I knew he didn't have to be there, I knew he didn't have to spend every single spare minute he had on me. But he always did...

I still can't help the love I have for him, it's bubbling up inside of my heart. It's always showing no matter where I am, all I can see is his eyes looking into mine. I can just imagine the feel of his lips against mine. The bliss of his presence.

It lingered every where..

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**Only one more chapter left :) Please review :)**


	3. Intertwined

My arms embraced my legs as I coiled into a ball on the one place I could find comfort in; the haven, the safety of my bed. The place I loved more than anything in this world, well almost.

I loved the way he spoke, the passion he put into every word; I loved the way he spent all his free time with me, I loved the way he would hug me when I was sad beyond words, but at the most... I loved him, I know I always would. Ever since I was 13 I've had this love for him, every time I looked at him, listened to him I would smile. Around him I could just be myself, no one else; just me. I wouldn't have to force a smile, or fake a laugh like I usually did. It just came out automatically.

The sob that escaped echoed throughout the room, the tears escaped my eyes as they trailed down my face without make a single noise; silence was all around me, it was taunting me as I tried to salvage at least a bit of my happiness. But it seemed to be lost because everywhere I looked was a reminder of Quil. Next to me was the photo of me and Quil when I was 14, the look on my face was of pure happiness. I can remember that day as if it was yesterday. I was upset so Quil took it into his hands to make me feel better; which at the end of the day I was. His face had my ice-cream rubbed into it as he rolled his eyes at me.

As the sobs continued I finally felt the one thing that could stop my pain for a few hours; sleep. It was sweeping over me like a wave, covering me with its lulling.

_The darkness that surrounded me was a comfort, the light from the flourishing moon was beaming it's rays down on me like laser light in the distance. It was shining down on me like it knew everything about me. The wind was blowing my hair in the direction of the water in front of me, every speck of water was like crystals, the way the moon shined down on it, the gaze, the beauty was touching my cheeks. The only thing that was missing was the one man I loved, Quil. I wanted his arms to be around me, embracing me in a warming hug, I wanted out first kiss but most of all I wanted Quil to be just with me so I wouldn't have to worry about him or anything else. I could be in the safety of his arms, I could be under the safety of his gaze._

"Clare?" Said a voice behind me, husky and smouldering like I always remembered it to be. "What are you doing out her all by yourself?" His question swayed in the wind, lingering for a few seconds as it blew away. He sat on the bench next to me, his warm shoulder brushing mine as he looked at me for an answer to his question.  
"I don't know Quil, I just really miss you at the moment, I can't help but be sad that you're not really here." He breathed out a laugh as he intertwined our hands.  
"But Clare, I am here. You just need to open your eyes. You know, just because I didn't say I love you right away doesn't mean I don't love you, because as a matter of fact Clare, I love you more than you know. I've always been there, and I want to continue being there for you.

We just looked into each other's eyes, staring deeply; we didn't care about anything else. His arms wrapped around me, bringing me into his side, I savoured his warmth as the wind blew onto us. He was always my space heater; warming me up when I freezing cold, shivering in depths of the infinite cold we'd get here.

_"Quil. I don't get it though, how come in all of my photos, even when I was 3 you always looked the same; like you never aged. Why, why were you never ageing?  
"Clare, sweetie. I will tell you, though it isn't the time right now. Can you do me a favour though, Clare?" He asked, his eyes looking into my own eyes.  
"Anything Quil"_

"Wake up for me?"

_"What, what are you talking about?"_

_"Just open your eyes and you'll see what I mean"_

My eyes fluttered open; but I could tell I wasn't alone in this room. My tears had finally stopped, my face dried. As I looked up I saw him there, our hands intertwined.  
"Clare" He murmured, his hands trailing through my hair. "I'm sorry I didn't say it earlier. I was just surprised you said it. I love you, and you have no idea how much I love you. I'm really am sorry I made you cry and hurt. I love you too, so much" Finally, the words that I have wanted for so were now out in the open by Quil.  
"Quil" I mumbled with a smile on my face, gently I pressed my hands to his face as I leaned in, my lips on his. I was surprised when he kissed me back just as passionately as I have always imagined it. His hands trailed up into my hair as mine traced the shape of his hips. His tongue skimmed the bottom of my lip, asking for an entrance; to be honest I was more than happy to give him that permission. I opened my mouth allowing the entrance he wanted; when I felt his tongue dance across my mouth I automatically groaned.

"Wait.." Quil sighed pulling away. "Clare, I have to tell you something. Something important"

"What Quil?" I mumbled my lips swollen from the kissing we have been doing.

"I'm a werewolf"


End file.
